Goodbye Baby

As I write this, there are tears in my eyes and a crushing on my heart. Today I said goodbye to my beautiful calico cat, Lucy. She was eighteen. We knew that her time was coming but that doesn't make it any easier. She began panting heavily with her mouth full open and wheezing. She was staggering. This morning she gave me her usual good morning howl and demanded breakfast, but barely took a bite. She had a small turn around the garden but asked to come back in. An indoor cat for her life, we had recently started letting her out in the garden in the quiet of the early morning. She wasn't going to be jumping any fences. She loved her adventures and would sit on the chair beside me on the deck, purring and touching me with happiness. She was peaceful as we drove to the vet's office and they were so very kind. It was all very calm and peaceful, and we said our goodbyes. I've been crying for so long today. Telling Lily and Max was horrible. Max had become very close to Lucy the last few months as she sat beside him on a chair during each meal. I think the sounds of their choking sobs was worse than the silence in the exam room. I dread the day when when we have to say goodbye to Molly. Molly and Lily are devoted to each other in the same way that I belonged to Lucy before anyone else. I have cleaned away her plates and water glass. I have a lock of her fur tucked away. Lucy loved me fiercely and enjoyed each day of her life. She was loud and tempermental and funny. She could flush the toilet. I miss her terribly and it's only been three hours without her here. So if anyone reads this and knows how strong the bond can be with a beloved pet, raise a glass with me and toast Lucy's memory. Forever my Lucykin. Mama will always love you.